Glad This Is The First.

It’s official. I am old enough to be able to clean out the closet in my old bedroom in my parent’s house and find condoms that expired in 2008. Yes, I started having sex when I was young. But I wasn’t that young. At any rate, who ever gets the chance to see an expired condom? I thought I learned somewhere that the circumstance never arises, was actually forbidden in some book or by some professor :

- Oh yeah...MmmmMMmm baby...Oh god yes, I want you right now. Let's make love...You got a condom?
- Got one right here baby - oh shit.
- What?
- You gotta be kiddin me.
- What?
- It's expired.
- What?
- I said it's expired.
- What? Let me see that.
- It says oh eight. Oh eight! It says two thousand fucking eight. I can read.

Etcetera. Am I wrong to assume that when a person buys a box of condoms, they plan on using them? At least relatively soon? Maybe there’s someone out there who buys condoms five years in advance. Or maybe generations of premarital-sex-lovin sluts are coming home from college every year and sharing the experience with me. Maybe someone stored their rubbers away for the holidays and then forgot where they hid them. Shit – it could happen. Anything can happen. If there’s one thing that cannot be said enough times, it is this :

Any Thing Can Happen At Any Point.

Every moment is pregnant with potential. Especially when the condoms have expired.